An Update on my Novels

Because who wants to think about the 21st century when the 16th century is right there for the thinking?

Hello, Substack readers! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my writing here at Sub-Creations. It has been encouraging to interact with so many of you. I am able to use this outlet to discuss things that wouldn’t be quite right in other mediums. It has been especially fun to connect with other writers here.

Those of you who only know me from Substack may be unaware that I am the author of five historical novels. The first three belong to a series called The Chronicle of Maud and tell the life story of Empress Matilda of England (1102-1167). They were my first foray into long-form fiction and therefore have some fantastic aspects and some that are less than ideal. The Girl Empress was published as an eBook by Kindle Press in 2017, and The Forsaken Monarch and The Eternal Queen were self-published in 2019 and 2022 respectively after Kindle Press shut down.

I enjoyed writing that series. It was a tremendous learning experience. A key moment came when I connected with local author Kristina McBride, who served as an editor for the second and third books. Without question, her advice helped me become a better writer of fiction. I now see the series of Maud books as a sort of training exercise for my fourth and fifth novels.

The second topic I have tackled in long-form fiction is the theological clash between two titans of the sixteenth century: Desiderius Erasmus and Martin Luther. In 1524-5, they debated whether human beings have free will in regard to salvation, with Erasmus arguing pro and Luther contra. But their war in print, which was perhaps the most significant of the Reformation, is only part of the story and likely insufficient on its own as a plot for one novel, let alone two. The books themselves (On the Freedom of the Will and On the Bondage of the Will) have been dissected ad nauseam for their theological content. But the story of two men attempting to survive in a rapidly changing world that was scaring the living daylights out of both of them: that has promise as a plot.

I was introduced to this event in Church history back in 2015-16, when I had a job that required me to cover many miles by car and listened to a college course on the history of the Reformation. What seized me was not just the question of whether human beings have free will, but the clash of personalities between Erasmus and Luther. I realized I could work my whole life and not come up with two characters that interesting. Inspired by other works of fiction I had seen or read that dealt with philosophical issues (e.g. Doubt, Gattica, The Tree of Life, the works of Lewis and Tolkien), my mind became captivated by the idea of telling their story in a work of fiction.

I was still working hard on the Maud series at that point, but I decided to do some initial research. I read through Erasmus and Luther’s books and something extraordinary happened. Though I had long been an advocate of the position defended by Erasmus, I found myself won over by the argument made by Luther. Thus, my interest in creating a work of fiction had led me to make a genuine theological shift: one that has had substantial benefits for me spiritually.

I reached out to the professor who had taught the college course and thanked him. This led to a sequence of events in which I was connected with many people in the Reformed Christian community. Though I had done a degree in biblical literature at university, I never thought I would write much about theology. But inspired by these new friends and the fresh revelations of scriptural truth I was enjoying, I began contributing articles to Christian organizations. As I focused on releasing the Maud books and writing the theological articles, the dream of writing a novel about the Luther/Erasmus clash remained in the back of my mind.

Then, as I was nearing the end of my time with Maud and entering the world of motherhood, something awful happened. The group of friends I had made in the Reformed community fractured. The Lord began closing doors left and right. How painful were those partings! I owed them all so much, and I missed them tremendously. But through circumstances God was sending me the message loud and clear: “Go out from here.”

The natural question was, “To where?” I questioned whether I had misunderstood God’s leading in the first place. Had I not done a good thing in wanting to pursue scriptural truth? Was I just fooling myself to get involved in all of that? It seemed like God was sending me into the wilderness, and I could not imagine that there was any kind of promised land on the other side - that he actually had something better for me than what I left.

It was a terrible time for me. With no theological articles to write and my Maud novels completed, I questioned whether I should continue writing. I was particularly hesitant to attempt the Reformation novel at that point, knowing that every page I wrote would remind me of the friendships I had lost. But for some reason - perhaps plain stubbornness - I decided to write the book anyway. That proved to be a momentous choice.

As I dove headfirst into research about Martin Luther, Desiderius Erasmus, and Luther’s compatriot Philip Melanchthon (who I had decided must be a third main character), I found I was enjoying it more than any project on which I had previously worked. The trouble was that I was working alone without compatriots to support me. I felt terribly discouraged and prayed that God would bring me to a place of healing. I did not want to fall into anger and bitterness as that would only bring misery. I wanted to love everyone.

Amazingly, God led me within just a few months to two things that ended up shaping my life trajectory. The first was a new podcast by the British historians Tom Holland and Dominic Sandbrook. I knew about Holland from his books and frequent tweets. I soon became a massive fan of The Rest is History podcast, and when they started a club for listeners that would allow us to all to interact with one another, I signed up, figuring it might help with my historical writing. Not only did it do that, but I gained many dear friends and even got to know the whole Rest is History team. Soon, I was boarding a plane to London to meet them all in person.

These experiences granted me confidence, not so much in myself, but in the divine plan. God was showing his goodness to me in new and exciting ways that I never would have expected. I saw that God intended to restore my soul, and that he was good to me, even in the dark times. Nothing which I had lost would not be eventually returned to me. I simply had to trust that God knew what he was doing: that he was using all these experiences, both good and bad, to make me into something beautiful.

The second thing I happened across in that period was also a podcast, or more accurately, podcasts. I found an organization called 1517 with which I am ashamed to say I was not previously familiar. For years, I had looked at all the ministry organizations run by evangelical and Reformed Christians, which were able to reach large numbers of people, and wondered, “Why haven’t the Lutherans created anything like this?” Well, as it turned out, they had.

I initially viewed 1517 as a useful resource for my novel research. Throughout the year 2022, as I busily completed what would end up as two novels set during the Reformation, I benefited from the podcasts 1517 produced. They helped me to understand Lutheran theology better (which was very important to me, as I was determined to create a Luther who was actually Lutheran), as well as the entire Reformation.

It did occur to me that I should start contributing articles to 1517 as I had done to the other Christian organization, but two things held me back for a while: 1) Though I greatly appreciated and benefited from Lutheran theology, I was not a Lutheran myself, and I feared this might disqualify me. 2) I was still hurting from previous negative experiences and feared a repeat.

As 2022 came to a close, I began querying agents in mainstream publishing. When I received feedback that the books were too religious and belonged in the Christian market, I began querying Christian agents as well. However, I was essentially caught in a conundrum: I was afraid that Christian publishers would object to some of the content in the books and their darker tone, while I was afraid the mainstream publishers would object to different content in the books. I was also afraid that neither industry would know how to market the books to the group of people most likely to enjoy them.

In spring 2023, after extensive efforts, I reached an impasse. It was clear that God was once again shutting the door and saying, “Go out from here.” So, did God not want my books to be published? Did he not intend to use them for his glory? Was I kidding myself, and it was only about my own glory all along? I did not know, but for the time being, I had to set the novels aside.

Once again, I had no writing responsibilities, and I asked myself whether I should continue writing at all. God was closing so many doors.

I took heart from the fact that simply writing these Reformation novels had been a healing experience. I saw many similarities between my life and those of the sixteenth century characters I portrayed. God used that process to help me see that yes, he was still good. My eyes were retrained to look not at the evil horizontal to me, but the goodness vertical to me, so to speak. “It is not about earthy results,” I told myself. “It is about the eternal weight of glory. It is about what he is doing in me.”

I still had moments of great pain when I thought about what I had lost, but I truly believed that God had led me away from those prior experiences to bring me to something better in the future. When I gave up my role writing for that Christian organization, I thought, “That was probably the best opportunity I will ever have to do that kind of writing.” But God was going to show me more things I did not expect.

It was at this point that a seemingly unrelated event impacted me greatly: Tim Keller died. I had known Tim only a little. We exchanged some emails over the years. He had provided words of comfort during a dark period in my life and congratulated me on the birth of my son. I did not always agree with him, but he had a vision for the future of the Church that I admired. While others got caught up in local squabbles, he saw the broader movements across planet earth, and they made him more hopeful for the future than most people I know. He was also a keenly strategic thinker who targeted younger people to mentor.

While Tim never mentored me like so many others, he did encourage me in my writing in a way that very few have, despite never meeting me in person. With his passing, I felt a sudden urge to try again: to pick up the torch, so to speak. Not that I saw myself as a direct heir to whatever his project was, but I was reminded that there was work to be done. I had learned that there could not be love without grief in a sinful world, and that while all relationships would eventually disappoint me, I had to try again. I had to risk it, because the good I gained would be worth the pain.

It was at this point that I took what for me was a very brave step: I asked the people at 1517 if they would like me to write for them. I was fortunate to get connected with Kelsi Klembara, who has been a great editor for me. Soon, I was contributing articles regularly. I began to see that things were done a bit differently at 1517. It had a kind of family atmosphere, and the gospel was absolutely central. I enjoyed getting to know the other female contributors in particular. They made me feel more comfortable there.

1517 was becoming a good-sized organization, and its publishing arm was regularly turning out books. I noted this, but I also realized that they did not seem to be dealing with fiction. Here was a group of people who, of all people on earth, would be interested in my Reformation novels and could reach the intended audience, but they did not publish fiction. Might they make an exception? I did not know, but I already had more faith in them than most of the Christian publishing industry, with which I had become more familiar over the previous year.

I therefore contacted the head of publishing at 1517 and mentioned that I had written two novels about the Reformation but had no idea if 1517 wanted to get involved in fiction. As it turned out, they did want to publish fiction. He invited me to put together a proposal. This led to a video call, and a proposal was soon put before a review team. Within a relatively short period, they made a decision: they would like to publish the two novels.

That is where I am today, dear reader: laughing and shaking my head at the way God brings things together. When I was hurting badly, feeling so alone, wondering if I should even keep writing, the Lord was already putting the pieces in place. He was pointing me toward the doors he would push open. This is always the way. He answers our prayers, but not always in ways we expect.

Therefore, prepare to hear a lot more about Erasmus, Luther, and Melanchthon! Only last year I was standing at the Schlosskirche in Wittenberg, feeling as if I had failed in attempting to tell their story, but God knew what he was doing. Even if I had never found the right publisher, he would have had a good plan: a better plan. It is like T.S. Eliot wrote: “For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.”¹ I simply had to tell the story to the best of my ability. Anything beyond that was out of my control. A work well done, even if never read, is still a thing of beauty that deserves to exist.

But I do hope, now that I have a publisher, that you will consider reading these books! I have never taken such pleasure in anything I have written, even though (and perhaps because) there were also countless moments of pain. Now, it is my job to share my excitement about this amazing story in the hope that, even as it has changed me for the better, it will benefit you.

Broken Bonds: A Novel of the Reformation (Part One)

Releasing November 12, 2024

Face to Face: A Novel of the Reformation (Part Two)

Releasing late 2025

I write to you now not as a person who has all the answers, or has done right, or has accomplished great feats, but as a woman of flaws and failures, utterly incapable, given over time and again to the frailties of my kind. If I have accomplished anything, or done any good, or been accounted righteous before God, it is not on account of anything in me, but by the power of God filling me from without, capturing me with his love. And if he does use me, it is proof that even stones and donkeys can speak. To God must be the glory for whatever good comes of this project.

My truest good fortune is not that I have managed to write some books, or that I have found the right publisher to partner with, but that God in his kindness has saved me, made me his child, and called me by his own name. He has led me time after time to people who would love me and teach me, leading me into truth. And though I live in a fallen world where things get broken and darkness seems victorious, I see the goodness of God in the land of the living, and I know the light will win. Everything which is broken will be restored. I believe in the resurrection of the dead.

Pre-order for the first book will be available soon! Stay tuned for updates.

1. “East Coker,” Four Quartets. http://philoctetes.org/documents/Eliot%20Poems.pdf