With Malice Toward None
How do I forgive in an era when love is grown cold?
When a large group of Trump supporters stormed the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021, the extent of America’s political divide was exposed as never before. On one side was the rancor of Trump’s supporters, some of whom chanted, “Hang Mike Pence!”, and all of whom seemed to believe that Biden’s election would be a disaster of epic proportions for the United States. On the other side, watching their screens in horror, were people who saw the MAGA1 movement as a major threat to democracy and denounced Trump as a traitor. It was a perfect reflection of the nation as a whole in an era when Americans are increasingly likely to see a victory for one party or another as a significant threat to the survival of the Union.
A century and a half before those events, Abraham Lincoln stood upon the steps of the U.S. Capitol to deliver his Second Inaugural Address. While some claim the U.S. is more divided in the year 2023 than ever before, Lincoln would surely beg to differ. It was largely on account of his election to the presidency that the Southern states chose to secede from the Union. In the resulting war, around 800,000 people lost their lives and an equal number were wounded or captured. It remains the single largest bloodletting in American history.
If anyone deserved to feel malice toward his political opponents, it was Abraham Lincoln. The Confederate leaders not only opposed the federal government and supported the institution of slavery, but they despised Lincoln personally. On account of their malice, a path of destruction was cut through the land. Yet, Lincoln sought to heal the wounds created by the Civil War. He said in his address,
“With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in to bind up the nation’s wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan—to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.”2
With malice toward none and with charity for all. Can you imagine any of the Republican candidates now running for president speaking those words about the Progressives they believe are ruining the country? Can you imagine a top Democrat speaking such words about Trump supporters they deem to be fascists? I certainly cannot.
These words of Lincoln serve as a profound challenge in an age when the love of most is growing cold.
What does it mean to have malice toward none? How do you forgive people with whom you are not in regular conversation, or who you have never met in person? The great mass of people “out there” who attack the things you love, who are utterly dangerous and hateful, who make your life miserable: what does it look like to forgive them? What does it look like to live a life absent of malice? How do you forgive things that seem unforgivable? Things that are still hurting you? People who are clear and present dangers?
I have been forced to ask myself these questions as I continue to experience hurt from wounds that defy proper healing. How do I avoid malice toward people who have ignored or excused abuses in the Church? Toward people who are clearly misogynistic? Those who ganged up on me called me a slanderer? Those who dismissed my heartfelt concerns? Those who daily make me doubt my worth? Political leaders who start needless wars and pervert the course of justice?
I do not have a perfect answer to these deepest questions of my soul, but I believe much of it comes down to having a certain mindset.
1. Acknowledge the Flaws within Myself
If I live under the illusion that I have avoided the errors common to mankind, then I become self-righteous and hold others to an impossible standard. I must admit that I too have contributed to the evils of this world, maybe not as severely as some others, but in a way that ought to make me humble.
2. Cultivate Gratitude
It is easy to see the evils in the world. The darkness seems overwhelming. But there is much goodness to be enjoyed, if only I could see it. Counting my blessings helps me to see the light all around, and gratitude helps to put my hurts in perspective.
3. Seek Justice, not Vengeance
There is nothing wrong with pursuing justice, but I must examine my desires closely. If I care mostly about making the other person hurt as I have been hurt, then I am pursuing vengeance, not justice. If I care mostly about the offenses done to me and not those suffered by others, then I am pursuing vengeance, not justice. Vengeance can never heal me: only justice can.
4. Think of the Potential with which each Person was Created
Even as I train myself to see the goodness in this world, I must strive to see the original goodness present in every human being. I do not ignore the evils in the human heart, but I acknowledge that every person is a mix of good and bad, and that human beings were originally created in the image of God. That mark of goodness remains, and I can treasure the good things about people while also acknowledging the bad.
5. Limit Exposure, Take Time to Heal
If the hurt is so deep that it overwhelms, then it may be time to remove myself from the situation for a while. This is an especially hard lesson to learn when one is pursuing justice in regard to a particular issue. I worry, “If I take a break from advocating, justice will never be done.” So I continue to press on, even as the constant re-exposure multiplies my hurt. I must therefore keep a close watch on my emotions and not be afraid to step away for a time. After all, I am not the one who can deliver perfect justice.
6. Believe in an Ultimate Justice yet to Come
The injustices of this world would bother me far more if I did not believe in an ultimate justice that will be delivered by a perfect judge. The great healing is coming! It is not up to me to achieve it by my own power. The wounds of this life will find their ultimate salve in the love of God and the beatific vision.
I hope that when I look back on my life, I will see not a line of people who let me down, but a line of people who were guiding lights for such time as God granted, pointing me toward the future he intends for me. I hope I can remember the good they did me and treasure it long after the memory of the hurt they caused diminishes. This is the special talent of focusing on the light rather than the darkness, which is truly a miracle granted from on high.
It is easy enough to say, “I have malice toward none. There is no one alive that I hate.” But do you know what is a lot like malice? Anger that becomes obsessive. Bitterness in which the heart soaks and shrivels. Constantly consulting one’s record of wrongs. Seeing only the bad in a person and not the good. Rejoicing when an enemy experiences something terrible. These are the beginnings of malice.
When you train yourself to see the goodness in everything, your existence begins to feel rather more blessed. When you seek another’s good, you find your own good as well. Forgiveness is as restorative for the one who gives it as it is for the one who receives. Yet, it is a supernatural act which requires a person to go against his or her deepest impulses. The laws of human justice must be suspended in favor of a higher law of love.
May I live every day of my life with malice toward none and charity for all. For as someone once wrote, to err is human, but to forgive is divine.3
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UPDATE: My article “The Word from Outside” is now available from 1517. You can read it here.
“Make America Great Again’
https://www.nps.gov/linc/learn/historyculture/lincoln-second-inaugural.htm
Alexander Pope said that.
Great reminder to keep our perspective focused on the eternal picture.
Powerful writing Amy.
“Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us”