The Rest of the Story

The illusion of celebrity confessions

Last month, pop artist Britney Spears released her autobiography, The Woman in Me. It contained shocking revelations—most salaciously, that Justin Timberlake pressured her into aborting their child. Reviewers marveled at Spears’ heroism in exposing the sordid details of her family’s past and the abusive men she has only recently overcome in court.

Publisher Simon and Schuster has this to say about The Woman in Me: “Written with remarkable candor and humor, Spears’s groundbreaking book illuminates the enduring power of music and love—and the importance of a woman telling her own story, on her own terms, at last.”

Members of the #FreeBritney movement are overjoyed. Having lobbied for Spears’ release from her legal conservatorship, they are now devouring the details she has been freed to share. They are also hounding her ex-boyfriend, Justin Timberlake, online.

The same month, Jada Pinkett Smith released a memoir titled Worthy and sat down for an interview with Hoda Kotb. This marked the first time she spoke publicly about her estranged husband Will Smith’s slap heard round the world at the 2022 Academy Awards. Jada said she was as surprised by the slap as anyone, and that when Will commanded Chris Rock to, “Get my wife’s name out of your [redacted] mouth!”, it was equally shocking given that they separated in 2016.

But Jada stressed they are in a better place now: a place of healing. Being the strong woman she is, she has overcome adversity. In the words of her book title, she is worthy.

This is reminiscent of recent events involving the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, a.k.a. Harry and Meghan. An emotional interview with Oprah Winfrey was only the beginning of their effort to set the record straight about why they gave up their status as active Royal Family members. Next came a Netflix documentary, and then the coup de grâce: Harry’s memoir Spare, in which he claimed, among other things, that his brother William once pushed him onto a dog bowl. The Sussexes unveiled a Royal establishment hopelessly behind the times and more than a little racist. As for the press, Harry was unwilling to let them kill his wife as they had killed his mother.

In each of these situations, a celebrity granted the public a peak into their private life: a chance to see the “real them.” The real them, it seemed, was a victim who had nevertheless overcome adversity and emerged stronger than ever.

THE ILLUSION OF INTIMACY

Now, allow me to play devil’s advocate. Were any of those confessions true?

I know it is poor form to question a victim’s account, and I am the first person to argue we should listen to victims of abuse and pursue justice on their behalf. But there are other factors at play when we are dealing with a celebrity who wishes to sell a memoir, e.g. the amount of money at stake, the somewhat inverted power relationship (The people in question tend to have more resources at their command than the average human.), and the fact that we are dealing with people who are often actors by profession.

But it is the nature of celebrity itself that should give us the most pause as we evaluate these testimonies. When society launches a star, it does not raise up a whole person full of complexity, but a kind of caricature ideal for marketing. The chief conceit of this business is that the public must believe they know the celebrity.

We must believe that when Taylor Swift writes about her latest breakup, we are really experiencing the heartache with her. We must believe that seeing videos of Gwenyth Paltrow’s kitchen means we have insight into her soul. We must believe these things because there is money on the line, and if celebrities are friends with whom we share much in common, we will be more likely to buy their latest book, stream their new single, or line up for their next film.

We can respect people who are unlike us. We can look up to them like Greek gods on a pedestal. But nothing produces loyalty like love, and if we are to love someone, it helps to feel we have things in common with them. Nothing produces this connection in modern Western culture like common suffering.

Thus, Britney’s struggle to break free from her father’s conservatorship is like our struggles to escape overbearing parental influence. Jada’s longsuffering efforts to heal her failing marriage are akin to our own marital difficulties. Meghan’s torment at the hands of the snobbish upper class, racists, and online bullies feels just like our struggles to get ahead in a system rigged against us.

The way we respond to celebrity revelations is much like attending a magic show, though we tend not to acknowledge the similarity. Most people who attend magic shows know there is no such thing as real magic. The marvels they will witness are not supernatural acts, but illusions: things of smoke and mirrors. Many magicians acknowledge this by referring to themselves as “illusionists.”

Slight of hand and misdirection are the chief tools of an illusionist. If the audience does not see the full reality of the situation, they can suspend their disbelief for a time. The illusionist succeeds by showing part of the picture and obscuring the rest.

Even so, when we witness a tearful celebrity confession and find ourselves emotionally drawn, we are responding to a partial image: one side of a multi-faceted story. What we see may be real, but it is not all there is to see.

THE REST OF THE STORY

After witnessing the hoopla surrounding Britney Spears’ book release, I found myself wondering, “Whatever happened to her sons?” During her marriage to Keven Federline, Spears gave birth to two boys in quick succession. When she and Federline divorced, doubts about his character became more pronounced; yet, Federline has long held primary custody of the boys. Spears dedicated The Woman in Me to her sons, Sean Preston and Jayden James, calling them the loves of her life.

When I conducted my Google search, I saw something at odds with the image of Spears that has predominated in the media for the past few years. It turns out she and her sons are almost completely estranged, primarily (it seems) by the boys’ choice.

Now, it would be easy to conclude that Federline has poisoned his sons’ minds with lies about their mother. Such things often happen. But something Jayden said in a 2021 interview with ITV is worth noting. He expressed that both he and his brother Sean were frustrated by their mother’s social media usage, particularly the revealing photos she shares of herself. “It’s almost like she has to post something on Instagram to get attention,” Jayden said. “This has gone on for years and years and years, and there’s a high chance that this is never going to really stop, but I’m hoping for me, maybe she will.”

Were Jayden’s comments proof of his father’s undue influence, or a true representation of his own thoughts? Might he have been on to something?

The cover of The Woman in Me features a half-nude Spears. I visited her Instagram page and determined the photos she posts are simply too inappropriate for me to share in this context. Many feature her in various states of undress, with at least one recent shot showing her completely nude from the rear. She poses propping up her breasts, scantily clothed and brandishing knives, pulling her pants lower so her genitals are barely covered. If I saw such photos of my own mother on Instagram, I would be mortified. While there is something to be said for a woman feeling confident with herself and her body, such posts on a public forum might also be suggestive of emotional problems.

The hits keep coming. Jada Pinkett Smith now claims her soulmate is not her (estranged?) husband Will, but the late Tupac Shakur. Perhaps conveniently, Shakur is not around to share his perspective. In 2020, Will Smith appeared on an episode of Jada’s show Red Table Talk, in which she explained that during their separation, she had an “entanglement” with August Alsina, a friend and peer of their daughter—but only after she and Will had called it quits! This led to one of the more uncomfortable moments ever captured on camera as the two of them laughed awkwardly and Will somewhat mockingly sputtered, “An entanglement?”

I have no idea what is really going on in the Smiths’ marriage (or lack thereof). That is the point! I will never know exactly what was said and done or who was entangled with whom. It is easy to think I could discern from the look in Will’s eyes on Red Table Talk or Jada’s eye roll at the Oscars the intimate details of their relationship, which are truly none of my business. Nor is Britney Spears’ mental state my business, and yet here we all sit diagnosing these people based on some video.

As for the Sussexes, the persecution narrative they so carefully crafted is falling apart after the writers of South Park dared to do what was begging to be done: point out the Sussexes’ hypocrisy.

In a viral episode of South Park, two characters closely resembling the Duke and Duchess embark on a global “privacy tour,” telling anyone who will listen, “We want privacy!” They are seen promoting Harry’s memoir, which in the parody is titled Waaagh.

The episode is devastating precisely because of its accuracy. The Sussexes have indeed granted high-profile interviews in which they have spilled lurid details, all while claiming they want privacy. Harry’s memoir does blame nearly everyone else for his problems. William may have pushed Harry onto the floor, but Harry has thrown William under a metaphorical bus. But now the illusion has gone up in smoke. Meghan’s lucrative podcast deal has been cancelled, and Family Guy has aired an episode that portrays the Sussexes receiving oodles of cash from Netflix despite having little actual talent.

Again, I am not claiming that Harry and Meghan are villains, nor that they are heroes. I am claiming that we the public can never truly know them. What are they doing when there is no camera rolling or ghostwriter taking notes? God only knows. The Royal Family is sticking with its standard protocol: never complain, never explain. We cannot know the whole story.

FULLY KNOWN, FULLY LOVED

This inability to know all the details is actually a godsend for celebrities. There is a common belief in our culture that spilling one’s guts publicly is healing. “Speak your truth,” is the order of the day. But no matter how much we reveal on social media, it will never be the whole story, and deep in our souls, we know that if people knew everything there is to know about us, they would find something to hate.

These misguided attempts to gain sympathy reveal our deepest desire: to be fully known and fully loved. It is a desire which, for many of us, will never be fulfilled, for who on earth can know us fully, or who can grant us perfect love?

But there is one who says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,” (Jeremiah 1:5) and, “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” (Jeremiah 31:3) The Apostle John wrote, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear…” (1 John 4:18)

We will never truly know these celebrities who capture our imaginations, but there is one who fully knows us, and miraculously, also fully loves us. May our fears be drowned in that sea of perfect love.

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